Hidden Treasure In Forgiveness
A healing within leading to transformation of the heart.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13 NIV)
Forgiveness is an act of self-care that can create a path toward transforming your heart, promoting healing. Whether in the heart or directly to the person receiving forgiveness, it breaks the chains that bind us from receiving joy and peace. When we hold onto hurt, it spills out to everyone around us in how we act, speak, and make decisions. We become trapped in the depths of the deep waters, waiting to be rescued, so our true, beautiful selves can be redeemed and valued.
There is a fragile little girl inside of me who has been exposed to a significant amount of trauma, which still haunts me throughout my adult life. When there are moments of calm and peace, my mind opens up and says, “You are ready to heal from yet another past incident.” Each memory that floods my thoughts has been submerged for years and develops into persistent anxiety and fear.
Like Moses, this has created a core belief that I am not good enough. (Exodus 3-4) The things I feel God pulling me towards, such as speaking and writing, are the very things that fuel my negative self-talk during these times. It seems the closer I am drawn to a relationship with my Creator and Savior, the more I feel impacted by the effects of past trauma. In these times, I cry out, “Jesus, I need you!”
“Now the Lord had said to Moses in Midian, “Go back to Egypt, for all those who wanted to kill you are dead.” So Moses took his wife and sons, put them on a donkey and started back to Egypt. And he took the staff of God in his hand.” (Exodus 4:19-20 NIV)
Moses used excuse after excuse to try his best to change God’s mind in sending him to free the Israelite slaves of Egypt. With each of Moses’ excuses, he attempted to state his case that he was not the man for the job. Despite this, God kept making a way, even assuring him that all who wanted him killed are dead.
After fifteen years of therapy and immersing myself in the Word of God, I have found Jesus as my treasure. Another jewel was found in the treasure through the forgiveness I have extended to others and myself. I have discovered that it is possible to laugh, find peace, and experience joy even in the midst of struggles. My treasure is not of this world, and it is overflowing. I continue to find the value in my treasure through the act of forgiveness, which allows me to live in peace with others. It is not always easy. It doesn’t always happen directly to the person; it may be between God and me, because that is what is safe and loving, because the other person may not be ready to hear it or receive it.
God calls us to forgive. He has gifted us with the ultimate sacrifice of His Son, Jesus, so we can be forgiven. We can be like Moses and make excuses. In a way, we are doing the same thing when we hold back forgiveness. We often make excuses and procrastinate, avoiding the need to ask for forgiveness. We often withhold forgiveness from others as if we are punishing them. In reality, we are clinging to hurt that keeps us stuck in the past and prevents us from experiencing freedom in our hearts. Unforgiveness builds up and erupts at the most unfortunate times, leaving us embarrassed and inflicting hurt on others.
“A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.” (Proverbs 15:18 NIV)
What if you viewed forgiveness as the beautiful, shiny treasure that it is? There are many hidden treasures that bring us spiritual wealth. Forgiveness heals and transforms hearts. In my journey of forgiveness, I have identified six areas that have helped me process and work through forgiveness, allowing me to offer it as a pleasing and precious gift to Jesus in gratitude for His love for us.
Six helpful tips for your forgiving journey:
1. Forgiveness is for you as an important way to release yourself of anger, bitterness, hurt, and sadness that can rob you of God’s joy and peace. Know what forgiveness is and why it matters.
2. Understand your inner pain. Figure out who has hurt you and why. Address how it has affected you. Exploring this can help you identify those who need forgiveness in your life and provide a starting point.
3. Practice forgiveness to grow your heart. The more you forgive others and yourself, the easier it is in the future. Let go of the emotional heaviness you may be holding onto. You may have heard the quote, “Hurt people hurt people.” Recognizing that we all have wounded hearts can help you towards empathetic forgiveness.
4. Finding beauty in suffering. There are ways to find meaning and beauty in experiencing suffering. We can relate to others and help them in their hurt by sharing our experiences.
5. Call on others when forgiveness is too difficult. Sometimes, approaching our giants head-on with the support of another person can be a more beneficial alternative to doing it alone. You may even need to start there.
“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” (Matthew 18:15-17 ESV, emphasis added).
6. Forgive yourself! Sometimes we are hardest on ourselves. We are imperfect people and will make mistakes. Practice patience and humility and forgive yourself. Isaiah 43:25 says, “I, I am he who blots out your transgressions for my own sake, and I will not remember your sins.” Once you ask God for forgiveness, move on. God does not want to even look back at it. You have been cleansed!
Reflection Questions:
Who are you still reluctant to forgive?
Who do you need to ask for forgiveness?
What is preventing you from taking action?
Who can you talk to that will help you process your feelings and support you in the act of forgiveness?
Read:
Matthew 6:5-9; 14-15
The Lord's Prayer
5 “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
7 “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. 9 Pray then like this:
Pray:
“Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
The upcoming Women’s Bible Study, “True Reflection: Focusing On Your Precious Identity With Purpose,” will guide you through the journey of Moses and his five excuses. Discover how God was not going to release Moses from His request just because he thinks he’s not good enough. Sometimes, it is where we think we are weak that God’s strength can bring us to a place of being more than good enough. The end of session four offers tools to help you process past hurt, where damage control may be needed. Having safety guidelines in place, whether you are asking for forgiveness or giving it, may be necessary.
